When a Parent Agrees to Domiciliary Care but Refuses to Engage
Understanding Why a Parent May Refuse to Engage
It can be very frustrating for loved ones when a family member who needs support at home refuses to accept it. There are many reasons for this however, and it’s important to approach the subject calmly and respectfully, otherwise the person may shut down from the subject altogether. The key isn’t to try and persuade the person, after all, it’s their choice, but rather to gently encourage and help them to see how it would improve their quality of life.
Loss of Independence and Control
The threat of lost independence is something many older people fear, however with care at home they remain in control of every aspect of their daily routine.
Emotional or Mental Health Factors
The person may not understand what is happening to them or may be anxious of new people coming into the home, especially if they are living with dementia.
Discomfort with Receiving Help at Home
Many older people have lived independent lives for decades, and may not want someone else doing things for them.
Carer Personality or Communication Mismatch
Occasionally, there is a personality clash between the carer and the customer, or there can be a communication breakdown between them.
How Refusal to Engage Can Present During Domiciliary Care Visits
Because domiciliary care visits are intermittent, as opposed to full-time, live-in care, the customer may not feel they have time to get to know the carer at first. This can change over time though, with patient and understanding carers.
Avoidance or Minimal Communication
The person may refuse to talk to the carer or communicate at all.
Refusing or Withdrawing from Tasks
The person may refuse to cooperate with the carer altogether.
Agreeing to Care but Not Participating
The person may just be a ‘passive’ participant in the care they receive.
Practical Ways to Encourage Engagement
At Helping Hands, all of our carers are patient, compassionate people who promote their customers’ independence in every way possible.
Start Small and Build Trust Gradually
Patience is key when supporting someone with their care
Involve Them in Decisions About Their Care
Remaining person-centred and promoting their dignity
Adjust Visit Structure, Timing or Carer Matching
We’ll modify the care package until they’re satisfied
Maintain Communication with the Care Provider
Your local care team will be on hand to help at all times.
When to Review or Adjust the Domiciliary Care Plan
We remain in constant communication with all of our customers and carers, throughout the care package. This means that we will be able to mould the package of care around personal preferences and adjust things to their choice.
If the Current Approach Is Not Working
If the person continually rejects care and it becomes clear that we cannot deliver the support as agreed, we will work closely with the customer, their loved ones (where appropriate), and the carer, to find a solution that works for everyone involved.
Making Gradual Changes to Support
Expert professionals, who work tirelessly for their customers’ wellbeing, will tweak things slowly to see what works best for the customer and their carers. We’ll always change things gradually, giving the person plenty of time.
Seeking Additional Professional Advice
Because we have 155 branches across England and Wales there’s always professionals waiting to help. We also have our own team of clinical nurses who can answer questions quickly and ensure your carer has all the training they’ll need.
How Helping Hands Can Support Families Facing Engagement Challenges
Because we’ve been supporting people to live as comfortably and independently as possible since 1989, there’s no situation we haven’t encountered before. This isn’t to say that every customer and their circumstances aren’t unique, it just means that we’re highly experienced in supporting customers who are refusing care.
We’ll take our time to get to know the person and we’ll listen carefully if they aren’t happy with what’s being offered. We are also experienced in developing communication with people who may not be able to do so in traditional ways, which is just one of the reasons we’re considered the UK’s most trusted home care provider across England and Wales.
What everyday care services does Helping Hands offer?
Personal care
Visiting care can provide you with dignified and discreet support for personal routines, such as bathing, toileting, and getting dressed.
Meal preparation
Your carer can prepare tasty and nutritious meals, snacks, and drinks at the times that suit you, as well as doing the washing up afterwards.
Help with the housework
If you’re struggling to stay on top of the housework, this is something your carer can help with – from doing the laundry to vacuuming the stairs.
Medication assistance
All of our carers are trained to provide dedicated medication support, including helping you to organise and administer it.
Running errands
A carer can run errands on your behalf, such as doing the weekly shop, sorting your mail, or collecting your prescription.
Mobility support
From helping you get out of bed to accompanying you on day trips, our carers are all fully trained to support you.