Managing Inappropriate Sexual Behaviour in Dementia

Dementia can affect all aspects of a person’s behaviour due to the way the brain becomes damaged, including how a person reacts to sex and sexual impulses. The Alzheimer’s Society describes it, saying, “a person with dementia may have more or less sexual feelings than usual, and may do or say inappropriate things as a result.” This includes mistaking a person for someone else (for instance, their partner) or behaving sexually in public. This can cause both the person and those around them to feel uncomfortable and confused, so it’s important to get some support if necessary. Talking to family and friends, if appropriate, might help as they may be the people who understand your situation almost as well as you do. There are also support groups and helplines that the Alzheimer’s Society and other organisations offer, or you could speak to your GP or Admiral nurse. Ensuring the right elderly care can provide the necessary support and reassurance for both individuals with dementia and their loved ones as they navigate these challenges.

Seeking support is definitely a good idea if you’re struggling with a partner’s sexual behaviour, as managing the situation alone may be difficult. Your GP may be able to refer you to a counsellor or therapist, so it’s a good idea to begin by chatting to a healthcare professional if you don’t feel that family or friends would understand. You could also try chatting to a dementia organisation or charity. The Alzheimer’s Society has a helpline available on 0333 150 3456 where they can offer information and advice, as well as details about other organisations that could help.
As with many dementia situations that can challenge, sometimes it only takes distracting the person for their behaviour to stop. Try not to respond aggressively or angrily yourself, even though remaining calm can be difficult, as that’s likely to make the other person mirror your behaviour.

It’s always a good idea to speak to your GP or a specialist healthcare professional who understands dementia, such as Dementia UK’s Admiral Nurses or our clinical nursing team at Helping Hands. Getting advice from someone who knows how best to approach the situation means you’ll be able to share your concerns about your loved one while receiving practical support. If the behaviour has affected care workers, then it’s a good idea to talk to both them and their manager to come to an amicable solution.  Remaining safe is the most important thing though and if you – or anyone else – don’t feel safe, you should take action. “There are professionals and organisations who can support you,” says the Alzheimer’s Society, “for example the non-emergency police line on 101, the Samaritans or Refuge.”
We have many experienced dementia carers at Helping Hands, people who have worked closely with our customers who are living with dementia, and they can often make suggestions that will benefit everyone.