Mum would not consider a ‘stranger’ living with her
These are words from Joan’s daughter Amanda who, in a candid interview shares with us the realities of parent ageing, the decisions we need to take and the outcome of the choices they made as a family. In reality what first felt like an impossibility has now resulted in a later life better than anyone dared hope for.
“Mum had been struggling at home for a couple of years. Her health was deteriorating and she wasn’t eating or drinking properly. Carers came in during the day and more latterly for a night-time tuck-in and she had an emergency button to press should she need help. It was a constant worry to all the family as to whether she was ok. Many a time I tried to call her during the evening and the phone would be engaged – she had forgotten to put it back on the hook properly. My stress levels spiked.
Last year she caught a bug, fell out of bed and was later admitted to hospital. After two weeks and a lot of negotiating I was able to arrange for her to stay in a nursing home to recuperate. It would have been an ‘easy’ option to keep her there – she was well looked after and safe but I knew she was lonely and would be so much happier at home.
Mum’s and our family’s lives were transformed in September when she came home and her first Live-in Carer joined her. It wasn’t an easy decision opting for Live-in Care – the cost is significant and we didn’t know whether it would work, however mum understood that if she didn’t have fulltime home care she couldn’t return home. We now no longer worry. She’s eating better than in years and has put on (some would say a little too much) weight! It’s a weight off our minds that’s for sure!
Mum finds it difficult to be motivated to go out but the frequent jaunts she has with her Live-in Carers do her the world of good. Afternoon tea at the botanical gardens is a real favourite. Now that summer is here, sitting out in the garden with her straw hat enjoying the sunshine is fantastic for her too. Although the nursing home did arrange outings it’s the one-to-one care and dedicated support she gets that makes Live-in Care such a privilege for her.
Last Christmas my brother, sister-in-law and their children came to stay for a few days and the children were very keen to visit the ice rink again. Everyone piled into cars and set off. On arrival mum’s Carer Maria asked if mum could go on the ice and before we knew it they were whizzing around with everyone else…mum still remembers the trip.
Perhaps Live-in Care won’t work for everyone. A few years back mum would not have considered the idea of having a ‘stranger’ live with her and help with her personal care. Things now are very different. We don’t know what the future holds but for the moment the family all know she is far happier at home.”
If, like Amanda, you are ready to explore the option of Live-in Care for a loved one please don’t hesitate to call the team on 0808 180 2277. They are here to discuss your options with you.