What is Show Timing in Dementia Patients?
What is Show Timing?
‘Show Timing’, sometimes referred to as ‘host/hostess mode’, is when a person with dementia can display lucid and coherent behaviour in front of medical professionals, in other words act as their ‘normal selves’, but be confused and lost around loved ones or carers. This can be very frustrating for caregivers as they may feel that their concerns regarding a client or loved one’s behaviour and memory loss won’t be taken seriously by the medical team, and lead to the person not getting the help they need. Homecare.co.uk tells us that “For a short period of time, the person is able to ‘put on an act’, not displaying the symptoms that they normally would do so as to appear that there isn’t a problem.”
Because more people than ever are living with dementia it’s important that we all know how to address issues like these, and where to turn to for help if needed. Helping Hands are highly experienced in helping to support people living with dementia, so if you’re struggling to cope with a loved one whose memory is letting them down have a chat with your local care team. You’ll find their details here.

Why does Show Timing happen?
Show timing can happen for many different reasons, but one of the most likely is embarrassment for their situation. The person has probably managed independently for many years and don’t want to feel as if they are now dependent on someone else. They don’t feel they want to ‘let their guard down’ in front of people they don’t usually see, such as medical professionals, or distant friends and relatives. This can lead to tension between family members who may not all believe that the loved one ever behaves that way. Fear can also be a factor because of the uncertainty of the future they face as their dementia progresses. Denial can also play a part – if the person doesn’t want to believe that they are living with dementia they can believe that if they act as ‘normally’ as possible they’ll be able to convince others too. According to Alzheimer’s Research UK, “49% of people of all ages said that dementia was the health condition they feared the most” meaning that they may not want to admit to themselves or anyone else that they’re experiencing the symptoms.
As the person’s diagnosis progresses and their dementia becomes more pronounced it’s likely that they won’t be able to pretend all is well as often, or for any significant length of time. ‘Show timing’ can be exhausting for the person living with dementia, and can leave them mentally and physically exhausted, which is itself should raise concerns with people who aren’t around as often. This doesn’t help the carers or family members who are living in the midst of it though, as it can be highly frustrating and distressing. Even though there’s little that can be done to prevent show timing, there are some things that can be carried out to convince reluctant family members or medical professionals that their behaviour isn’t typical.
Keeping a log of their behaviour
Making notes regarding typical daily symptoms will be helpful for medical professionals or other family members, so that they can understand the situation better. This will highlight any patterns in behaviour, changes as the day progresses, and also make it more difficult for the person to ‘show time’ as they previously did. Keeping a log is also beneficial for the person witnessing the show timing, as if others are refusing to believe what you’re telling them it can sometimes make you doubt yourself too. By keeping a detailed record, you will see that you aren’t over stating what is happening, or seeing behaviours that aren’t there, helping your frustration levels and mental health too.
Try to stay calm
While easier said than done, when faced with frustrating behaviour and surrounded by people who don’t believe there’s an issue, it’s essential to state what’s happening in a calm and rational manner so that you don’t get accused of being ‘hysterical’, or ‘making (the person) worse’. If the caregiver is stressed it can make the situation even more frustrating as you’ll truly feel that you’re swimming against the tide of opinion and can begin to doubt yourself. Even though it may feel like you’re getting nowhere at times, the end goal of getting a diagnosis will get closer every time you calmly state your case.
Seek support
Caring for someone with memory loss can be difficult and sometimes frustrating, especially if you feel alone in your concerns. Show timing may only be one aspect of the way your loved one’s behaviour has changed and it can also be emotional thinking about the relationship you used to have with them and how it’s now different. You may have never envisaged becoming their carer but they may also be struggling with the way your roles have changed and the dynamics involved. You may benefit from linking up with other caregivers, seeking elderly care support from Helping Hands so that you can take a significant break, or finding a local support group you can both attend.
Try and see it from others' perspective
If family members are refusing to believe that there is a situation regarding a parent or other loved one it might be that they’re fearful of the changing relationship too. Our parents are usually the ones we look to as strong and dependable when we’re young, and even when we become adults some people can struggle to think of their parents or other loved ones becoming frailer and less capable of managing. Displaying symptoms of a life-limiting condition can rock the previously strong foundations of a person’s world, but also lead their loved ones to have to fear what the future brings and face the possibility of losing them.
How to Determine a Person's Mental Capacity
Having mental capacity assessed can feel like a betrayal of a loved one’s ability to manage their own life, but if they really are struggling to make decisions in their own best interest it may be time for someone else close to step in. The Alzheimer’s Society tells us “As their condition progresses, people with dementia may become unable to make some decisions for themselves. When this happens, the person is said to lack the ‘mental capacity’ to make the specific decision at that time.” If someone can longer make informed decisions in their own best interests then it’s important to have them assessed, to keep them safe and ensure they aren’t compromised in any way.
How Does Show Timing Affect Dementia Diagnosis
While it may be possible for the person to deceive a medical professional in initial appointments, especially if the assessor is under pressure to hurry patients in and out, as time goes on it will become more difficult. While the person being examined may be able to ‘show time’ for ten or fifteen minutes at first, giving the impression that there isn’t a problem, this won’t be sustainable for long. Medical professionals are also becoming much more knowledgeable about dementia and the behaviours that are commonly exhibited, however it can still be hard for them to see past ‘show timing’ in early appointments, especially if they don’t know the person. Frustratingly, this can delay a diagnosis, especially if the person sees a different doctor every time they attend the surgery which is common nowadays, and can make it hard to build a professional relationship. Persistence is sometimes the only way to get concerns heard, along with keeping detailed evidence of observed behaviours.
How Helping Hands Can Help with Dementia Care
Helping Hands have been supporting people living with dementia since we were established in 1989, helping them to remain living in the home they love while receiving expert care and giving their loved ones a well-earned break. Our amazing carers can deliver support on both a visiting and live-in care basis, meaning that we can design a package of support that is totally centred around you and your needs. And because all of our care and support is fully regulated by the Care Quality Commission and the Care Inspectorate Wales, you can always be confident that we’ll maintain the very highest standards, every single day.